I am finding so tough to handle these things. Is it really loving to allow someone to remain in their sin? However, when someone has hurt us, we need the Holy Spirit’s power to respond in kindness. Especially when it’s a parent, spouse, or someone you just can’t cut out of your life so easily. (And if I didn’t have to travel to the other side of the world, I would book a few sessions with you. I can build my world without You.” Lots of looking at pictures of naked actresses. God uses suffering to cleanse us, to mature us, to burn up shallowness. Why does God allow it? […], […] How to Forgive Someone Who Keeps Hurting You […]. Certainly God sees you, huh? Should you be expected, or is it possible, to forgive when someone keeps hurting you? So what do we pray? “I will give them a heart to know that I am the Lord, and they shall be my people and I will be their God, for they shall return to me with their whole heart” (Jeremiah 24:7). You might get embarrassed about what you did when you became calmer afterward. When all there was, was God: Father, Son and Spirit, engaged in a three-Personed “holy hug” that had no beginning and has no end. What you have experienced is repeated betrayal. And my pain is nothing compared to the horrific suffering of millions around the world. I thought we had a happy, fulfilling marriage. Let each one have its emotional and intellectual effect on each of the others. I have a person I live with and have to see a lot. Then I got to know my cousin had called off this bond with her. And if Satan can get us to doubt God’s goodness, we stand on the edge of a life that uses our anger to justify sin.. Fathers, Feelings, and Faith. So even the attacks of Satan, although evil, can and will have a "good" result, ultimately, as God uses them to conform us to Christ, His Son (see Romans 8:29). God knew all this, and He created us anyway. Why does God allow suffering to continue? Thank you very much for this post it was very helpful. Why doesn’t He stop it—surely He can. While the information provided on this site is for your personal growth, it is not to be considered professional counseling. The Father knew He would send the Son to suffer, and the Son knew that’s what He would leave heaven for. We need to put evil and suffering into perspective, and that means the Really Big Picture. :-) ). I have been hurt so many times and it seems as if god lets these people who have made me suffer so much into depression and suicidal thoughts and people just get away with this. Also, thanks so much for your question. A few of the women in his videos he also had been “researching” on social media, etc. To change from a life of “self” to a life ruled by Jesus Christ, is a dramatic step and so it many times requires God to allow hurt in their lives…hurt that is overwhelming so that they turn to God just as the prodigal son returned to his father. (This article may be a start.). While it’s tough to imagine, you can have a clear heart and also enforce healthy boundaries. I’m not sure how to forgive and move on. Forgiving is something that happens in your heart, but you will still need to make clear to him what you need. Lord, comfort her and heal her heart. Same bitter thoughts come. Help! No one can hurt you unless you let them. We talked about it but it seems she just keeps doing it again and again. It took me a few months to process it all but I feel like I did forgive him. And, holding hostility toward the other person serves as a support for that fortified wall. My husband is constantly hurting me. (If you haven’t already, see if these two articles could be of help: “5 Keys to Assertiveness” and “What are Healthy Boundaries? That is something I can never seem to keep in mind. When someone continues to hurt you or has never sincerely apologized, your task of forgiving can take a while. Here’s how to forgive someone who has hurt you emotionally. Oh Paul, my heart goes out to you in your chronic pain – I can’t imagine how difficult it must be, so I won’t even try. What a tough situation you are in. Every single step. You can follow Sue on Twitter @suebohlin. Perhaps, he’s called you to stay put in a place you don’t want to. She has a freelance calligraphy business in her home studio; hand lettering was her "Proverbs 31 job" while her children were young. I am adding you to my prayer list, for I know only God my Father can truly heal your pain. The God of light and life, of love and truth, knew that all those things are found only in Him; He knew that to reject Him meant choosing darkness and death, isolation and deception. But I am not sure I did fully because I was terrified he would do something to hurt me again. they are asking the wrong question. I may get a small commission on purchases made on some of them (e.g., Amazon). Please tell me how to forget and forgive. He was distraught and asked for forgiveness, promised he would never do it again, blah, blah, blah. You also could be believing a second myth, that it means you have to stay in relationship with this person without the other person changing their treatment of you. But sometimes it’s just not that simple. But God has revealed answers through the Bible and through the Person of His Son, Jesus Christ. Starting before the beginning of time. I don’t know if that makes any sense really, but that is what it feels like to me. Instead, the Son left heaven, wrapped Himself in human flesh, and came to earth where He lived a perfect, sinless life. I often smile at the seemingly ‘accidental perfect timing’ of these arriving in my newsfeed. I can’t accept that such girl will be getting married to my cousin and be part of our family. God sees the beginning and the end. Because He knew the end result was worth it. (Please see my article The Value of Suffering.) Disclosure: I am writing this while beset by the most physical pain I’ve experienced since post-polio syndrome started attacking my body with the “unholy trinity” of pain, weakness and fatigue. While the purpose of this blog is to help you grow and heal, it also is a for-profit business. Sue Bohlin is a speaker/writer and webmistress for Probe Ministries, a Christian organization that helps people to think biblically. Tawnya Kordenbrock is a licensed professional clinical counselor and an online coach. Julia: What would you say to someone who’s experiencing hard things, some sort of trial, and they believe that God put these things purposefully in their life just to hurt them? Where Adam disobeyed the Father, Jesus learned obedience through suffering (Heb. FYI - Any links I provide to products or services are for those I personally have used or approve. I love him, and I know he loves me. Maybe the question is: Does God want you to have people in your life that break you off? I found a christian speaker: Henry Cloud, he speaks about boundaries. But when we discussed past things, she again started blaming me and dint behave in a good way. As Christians, we must realise that having sold out our hearts to God and made the decision to follow Him, it doesn’t exempt us from hurting God. You’re sick, you’re dying, you’ve been deserted, you’ve lost a child, you’re innocent but accused of wrongdoing — and they try to shush you. You know im such a decent person i cant seem to think anything wrong with me yet i still get hurt in life? Some days are very good and others not so. A continual celebration of love, adoration, respect, and delight in each other. How can you forgive an adult child who continues to use drugs and steal from you? Some people think that you don’t. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. You just need to be patient. Perhaps that starts with what you define as forgiveness. I don’t like her and her bitter words have freshen up wounds. How can I make him see that his actions are not acceptable just because I forgive him? In Jesus’ name, Amen. Randy: I would say God doesn’t do that. The end result is that He is redeeming and restoring all the evil, pain and suffering of this sin-sick world. Does forgiveness mean you won’t get angry again if they treat you badly yet one more time? So why does He let innocent people—especially children, for heaven’s sake—suffer? Thanks for commenting Amy. The one good thing that has come out of this is we recognize the need to teach our 3 sons differently than my husband and his brothers were taught. He will set all things right in the end. 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